Cancer (22 June – 22 July)
Today is not your lucky day. You’re not getting the attention you want from the opposite sex, but no worries, it’s not who you are, but the way you are dressed. Take a double look at yourself in the mirror and realize that what you have on isn’t working for you.
Gemini (21 May – 21 June)
You never seem to finish what you start, but hey, there’s always that person that does all that for you, so keep depending on that person. They will take you far in life, unless something bad happens to them. But besides that, they take you down the right path to success.
Aries (21 March – 19 April)
Today you will discover a power you never knew you had, the power to actually complete unfinished work you have been piling up for the past few weeks. So get to it, because this power only comes once a year for you–TAKE ADVANTAGE!
Taurus (20 April – 20 May)
What you have been dreading the most will finally hit you in the face today–literally hit you in the face–so be prepared to be hospitalized. Being cautious today won’t work, so regardless of what you do, you might as well have 911 on speed dial because you’re going in….
Leo (23 July – 22 August)
Before you step into your car today, make sure there’s nothing fishy going on around it. Double-check that the doors were locked before you “un-lock” your car and if the doors were not locked, I suggest you not step into your car…. There might be something or SOMEONE in there waiting for you.
Virgo (23 August – 22 September)
It’s not a good idea to ask for too much today because even if it’s a favor, you’re not going to get it. So just wait until tomorrow to ask away.
Libra (23 September – 23 October)
You like to give your opinion on things, but today your opinions just don’t seem to matter. Realize that today no one cares about what you see or how you see things, keep those thoughts inside where most of them are already building up.
Scorpio (24 October – 21 November)
Change is the word for you today. To start off, it might be a good idea to change your underwear while you’re at the start of this “change stage.”
Sagittarius (22 November – 21 December)
Today you may seem to be the person who makes everyone laugh, but in reality you don’t realize that they are actually laughing at you, not with you.
Capricorn (22 December – 19 January)
You’re looking your best today, everywhere you go there’s a group of people that stop and stare. Your confidence is at its highest. What you don’t realize is that you overdid it with your perfume or cologne, and everyone is wondering whether you took a shower with it.
Aquarius (20 January – 18 February)
Opening up to a close friend is probably the worst thing you can do. Instead, open up to the person you trust least, since remember, they don’t actually care about you. They won’t waste their time talking to other people so your secrets will be safe with them.
Pisces (19 February – 20 March)
Tomorrow is never promised for anyone, so handcuff yourself to the person you can’t live without because if anything happens to them, you’re going along for the ride. If you can’t live without them, they obviously won’t be able to live without you, and won’t mind the company.